I rarely feel cold (California). I tend to feel lonely at night, although I feel that lonely is not an accurate representation of myself.
I bring the lonely aspect upon myself. I'm quite addicted to scrolling. Even now I just switched to mainchan to find some respite from Instagram, which long ago had exhausted anything interesting to me. It's very easy for me to make friends or small talk, I'm quite extroverted. However I struggle with romantic connections. I have dated two girls, both after my 19th birthday. Each relationship lasted less than two months, and I intentionally ended it before it could become sexual. I am a virgin still at 20. This choice was not made by an adherence to religion, scripture has little bearing on my life (Note I did not say God has little bearing). I feel a heavy honeymoon period before a sudden steep and tremendous drop occurs in which I realize I am wasting valuable time and resources seeing someone whom I know will not be the one. Thus, I cut her loose.
Today was a Sunday, my one day off. I staying inside my hotel room all day, eyes peeled away from everything except my phone. There was nothing on it for me aside from garbage. I have not been happy online since I was 17. Or even younger. On occasion I get a strange thought in my mind: "people like me deserve to be killed, rounded up like cattle and slaughtered". Where this comes from I don't know. Perhaps a sense of guilt or deep shame? I visualize my ancestors in heaven viewing me in bed, furiously masturbating to images and ideas horrific, bizarre and unknown to them in their time. What is wrong with him to not seek organically romantic or sexual gratification from others as we have always done? Does he not know?
I do know. But I am a slave.
God, if you're listening, please, kill the whipping screen.
Well. If you have nothing to lose you have everything gain. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places for that 'salvation'. For one, the internet will never give you what you want. The real world is equally unlikely to result in anything satisfying however the journey will be fulfilling. The main takeaway is this: you have to make that choice and make that change yourself, nobody will do it for you. But if you want somebody to make one for you, try joining the military. Structure may be what you need.
Psilocybin mushrooms grow wild damn near everywhere. You could probably find some somewhere.
I ain't 'member these people. T'were before my time
We're all gonna end up a stain. Better make it an interesting one while you can.
It's a Catholic church sex abuse scandal joke - I left before the relationship turned sexual.
Seems it probably doesn't work well over text.
Text posts are a Crockhead Special though... I'll be ok if you do
Haven't. Every relationship I've been in I left before it turned sexual. My youth pastor was pissed.
The only F he has to give
Heehee thank you
Yes but it's a bit old, I'm much better than this now
https://youtu.be/nNWKr2sflN4?is=9K5n0Esu5m8Fh7H9
Seems I can't download this as a gif on the mobile app, only as a still image. @cicero
This is actually a pretty good jak
Purveyor of waresjak
All I have left is his mercy
I rarely feel cold (California). I tend to feel lonely at night, although I feel that lonely is not an accurate representation of myself.
I bring the lonely aspect upon myself. I'm quite addicted to scrolling. Even now I just switched to mainchan to find some respite from Instagram, which long ago had exhausted anything interesting to me. It's very easy for me to make friends or small talk, I'm quite extroverted. However I struggle with romantic connections. I have dated two girls, both after my 19th birthday. Each relationship lasted less than two months, and I intentionally ended it before it could become sexual. I am a virgin still at 20. This choice was not made by an adherence to religion, scripture has little bearing on my life (Note I did not say God has little bearing). I feel a heavy honeymoon period before a sudden steep and tremendous drop occurs in which I realize I am wasting valuable time and resources seeing someone whom I know will not be the one. Thus, I cut her loose.
Today was a Sunday, my one day off. I staying inside my hotel room all day, eyes peeled away from everything except my phone. There was nothing on it for me aside from garbage. I have not been happy online since I was 17. Or even younger. On occasion I get a strange thought in my mind: "people like me deserve to be killed, rounded up like cattle and slaughtered". Where this comes from I don't know. Perhaps a sense of guilt or deep shame? I visualize my ancestors in heaven viewing me in bed, furiously masturbating to images and ideas horrific, bizarre and unknown to them in their time. What is wrong with him to not seek organically romantic or sexual gratification from others as we have always done? Does he not know?
I do know. But I am a slave.
God, if you're listening, please, kill the whipping screen.
I dont want to be a chud it would be a waste of the decent genes I have
I actually agree with this sentiment heavily
Everyone in their 20s is insufferable compared to them in their golden years. They haven't been humbled yet
Yearning will never, ever, ever end, it makes us human
Well. If you have nothing to lose you have everything gain. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places for that 'salvation'. For one, the internet will never give you what you want. The real world is equally unlikely to result in anything satisfying however the journey will be fulfilling. The main takeaway is this: you have to make that choice and make that change yourself, nobody will do it for you. But if you want somebody to make one for you, try joining the military. Structure may be what you need.