(first, I want to say that I posted the same post 2 years ago on reddit, but now I've merged both of them anyway here we go)Hey guys, today I'm going to tell you about my life, my upbringing from 3 years old to now Which is 15 years old, I know that a lot of people think that doomers are snowflake losers who just need to get it together and also make a big deal out of everything, but I want you guys to listen to me today, another point before we start is my age, I know that being a doomer at 15 is not taking seriously and most people just think this is some I'm 14 and this is deep cringe, in my honest opinion, I think that I will truly identify as a doomer when If i reach the age of 25, because by that point life would truly tell me if either I'm happy or I'm doomed, anyway enough overdosing on opium let's start
(i will be referring to myself as I, and other people as A, B, C, etc)
so let's start at the beginning:
I was born on January 10 2008 but was supposed to be born two weeks prior on December 26 2007 why do you ask? because my dad didn't want a child and my mom didn't want an abortion so I was pretty much left to die in my mom's stomach, how do I know? my entire family told me but of course, didn't give me full detail until later, at a young age I didn't know much but now it's just fucking insane so let me organize this so I can tell it better and it doesn't seem like a mess
Part 1 (3-7) :
around this time my dad would cheat on my mom with a woman, S, one time at night we went on his bike, I thought that we were getting food, but we went to a woman who came wearing a white dress I was too young to understand they started talking I didn't care much, the other time me my mom and my grandma came back from a city and my mom found out he's been cheating with her and she was in the house and they flew, he came back, and my sad mom....forgave him, he would beat my mom a lot and for no reason sometimes, and it was all in front of me, the chair was thrown at my mom glass breaking screaming and my mom saying sorry to him I would see him hitting her in the face stomach legs he would beat her until shes down, I would be scared and too confused to understand what was going on, the screaming the beating sounds the glass shattering is still marked in my brain I don't know if its PTSD or something else but let's move on, one time my mom fell off my dad bike and the chain hitted her, my mom could've died but my dad kept staring at her, and no it wasn't "omg I'm so shocked what do I do" it was a blank face a women came out and helped my mom and she woke up, when my mom checked his phone she found out that he's been talking to S and she said about the incident "I feel more bad for her than you do" ,the way I coped with it,was playing video games like, Grand theft auto 5,Spiderman 2 and more, it really just made me forget about the fearful and sad times
Part 2 (8) :
for this part, nothing changed, still, beating, and manipulating my mom to pay for his loan, but this is when I started to resent school (3rd grade), teachers would treat me like an idiot any chance they got when other kids did it nothing, but me, gotta make him feel like shit, I think because I was quiet and didn't respond, one time I did a good text but my teacher didn't accept it because bad handwriting so why am I mad, well by "didn't accept it I mean" she took my hand and beat it with a ruler 6 times, I didn't feel safe in school or home, I still decided that life was going to get better and that God has better plans, yeah I was naive like that
Part 3 (9) :
beginning of the year I was bullied, my resentment of the school grew bigger, I would be called a stick, they would be grabbing my arm (because I was skinny), and they would beat me cause of how weak I was, I decided to snitch because I had enough, the teacher talk to them for 10 seconds literally, after that it got worse, beaten harder, they would call me bitch, faggot, and girly (because of my bangs), at home same shit different year, beating, as usual, one time we went to a swimming pool I started to freak out because I never learned to swim, I guess I embarrassed him in the car he said right to my face "you're a retard" I felt so hurt but still held to my belief that I was wrong and that he was still my dad
Part 4 (10-11) (A.K.A: the worst time of my fucking life) part 1:
this was my lowest moment, the bullying started to grow harsher, and I started thinking that the world would be better off without me, I was suicidal I wanted to die, but I also started to become angrier at 10 years old I had homicidal thoughts, at who? my dad, of course, I was fucking tired of the screaming getting called names beating mom and also he started to hit me, he made me feel like a failure, i wanted to stab him in the throat, I was so mad, hatred grew out of control, lucky for him he divorced my mom as a plot for him to get married, I was so fucking happy little did I know that from now life would fuck me harder than it did before he divorced, my mom was pregnant with my sister, he threw out the stairs thank god she survived, then he said: "doesn't that thing want to go yet?"
in the 6th grade, I exploded with rage I would talk back to teachers, I started to hate people I had pretty much one friend, I started to think about death more, I despised my life, I now had homicidal thoughts about people in my class, there was one guy that teachers decided to put next to, call me faggot hit me, I imagined stabbing him many times, I started to search if guns were sold in morocco (yes it was stupid but I was desperate) I would imagine myself shooting everyone stabbing them and bombing the school I would imagine shooting them so many times, I would go home and have emotional mental breakdowns I would hit anything, stab my pillows and do gun motions and ask my mom for toy guns when I asked my mom what to do, she said ignored them, do you know how hard it is to ignore someone talking at you right to your face, it helped fucking nothing made me more fucking miserable if I'm being honest if morocco was like America, you would've probably never seen this, at summer i decided i would be happy, screw being depressed, well god decided again to fuck me in the ass, i just think I'm goddamn cursed so any way my auntie came over to stay for vacation in my grandparents home,i thought it was cool, fast forward, they ask me to go to field trip, and i would do the biggest mistake of my life, A my eldest cousin would put electronic watches in my eyes while i was trying to sleep he would also step on me, make me feel like nothing, the second eldest M, he was pretty much a dog with a chain to A, insult me,make me feel like shit, Y the youngest boy, he was pretty much thinking he's something, "my brothers bully him, i can also" and after the hell they came up trying to delete games out of my xbox, i hitted one of them with my elbow to the head, and of course i was told that i was wrong," what has gotten into him he was our punching bag, and now he doesn't WhAt" i fucking hate every single one of you , she came up and started screaming at me, that I'm a liar, and some other bullshit, 31 year old to 11 year old ladies and gentleman, you cant get more immature than that, then my grandma said something that broke my families respect in a second "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" and they are shocked why i hate them, the message: fuck you i hate you i hate my life i want to kill every single one of you fucks for ruining my life, the next day my grandma said "you need to respect us more" i said to her " i would never respect any of you because you never respected me" and i just went its more hilarious than it looks 31 year old and 55 year old against 11 year old, in my journal i wrote that i wanted to shoot A with a shotgun, i wanted to shoot M in the legs,i wanted to beat Y until he goes unconscious or just dies,and i wanted to drown my cousin M in a toilet that i pissed in, why? I kinda held her responsible for the whole shit, same as her cousin, but what happened is that I taped in her back while on the stairs like the move because I had my sister, a bit of trivia that the stairs had one stair left, I said in my journal "dumb bitch even if I threw your daughter she would still survive its one stair cunt, if she fell one head she would probably have brain damage which wouldn't change much ain't it"
Part 5 (late 11-12):
the year (7th grade) started like garbage I asked a girl out (Y), she said "you're so ugly,get away from me faggot" hatred became bigger and bigger each day I was bullied by her and her friends I decided I wanted to be cool, one time my friend (O) told me to throw a rock at her, I did, it didn't hit her, and she blamed it on him because he was standing there, I feel like such a dumbass and an idiot I made an embarrassment of my self, one day my friend (I) convinced me to do extra hours of school with him, I met people there, one day a girl I knew (R) came to me around 4:30 and told me this girl (A) asked you out, the girl, in general, was the same grade as me and we did the same extra hour of school together for the longest I can remember she was always staring at me, even when the teacher of the EH was teaching she would look at me, I was kinda into her but because of last time I just dropped it, so anyway I said yes I could see her in the distance smiling, fast forward 2 weeks, everything was good, my mental state was fine i was happy and i thought i was dumb for thinking i was cursed, her friends were teasing her about us, and then she said "I'm not even dating him" that moment i blacked out, i was like what the fuck is going on was i high when her friend told me, i remembered everything and yeah guess what, i wasn't high, i was like what is wrong with my life, i ask a girl i get called ugly , a girl asks me out, she changes her mind like she has alzheimers, i decided like an idiot not talk to her about it, i felt fucked, manipulated, one time her friend (R²) asked me out indirectly, but i didn't buy into it, i started to mock her, and rejected her it was as if i wanted to feel how it felt like, why did i do it, i guess i had the mentality of "All girls are the same" there was another girl,(R) she was the one who originally told me that she liked me, i became somewhat her best friend we would talk,laugh, so how much did i trust her? well how much trust is it that I occasionally gave her a knife because she wanted to threaten her cousin, she was my best friends (T) girlfriend at the time, but they had a lot of problems, they would talk to me about their relationship, moving on one day she had something I had, and she didn't want to give it to me, I pulled out the knife, I wasn't planning to stab her I just wanted to intimidated her so she could give it back, yeah it was stupid, she told the teacher, that pissed me off because of how hypocritical it was, anyways, I went to her and apologized, I feel like our friendship never got resolved I didn't talk to her again, she didn't want to talk, I never even seen her smile after that, I wanted to tell her about her hypocrisy, but i decided to just leave it there, I really wonder what would've happened if I never pulled out the knife, there was a rumor she liked me, but i really don't know, the next one is about a dude (R) who was my best friend one day, he pulled down my pants i kicked him in the stomach, i felt bad and told sorry like 7 times, he started crying and headbutted me,my friend (T) told me just to go home, i went home, he tresspased started throwing rocks at my bike and my door then he left, i went back to school he threatened me, i told the principle and he said "its not our problem its outside of school" fuck him, i went outside he threw rocks at me and one landed in my head i went home having the same mental breakdown i had when i was in the 6th grade, my mom went outside and called him a midget, i went to his mom, no bullshit, she said "my son does nothing wrong, i raised my son right" you sure did you dumbass i left , she went to my mom and after all of that i was wrong, I'm the cruel monster that caused everything, fuck my life, after a while guess what? he told people I hit a teacher which was bullshit, so I ignored it, he tried to ruin my best friend (T) friendship, but ignored, then he said I went to his dad and told him something that made his dad hit him which would be impossible as I go to the same classes and we do extra hours together fucking snake bitch, I wanted to kill the school planning guns I would use how I would do it but dropped the idea because the only people I know own guns in morocco are mafias isis and the government, but I was fucking tired I hated my life it was shit I hated my family people and myself I was blood lusted, you know how people punch things to relieve stress, I thought of the same thing but with a gun
Part 5 (13-14) (A.K.A: the worst time in my life)(AKA:the lowest of the low)
the 8th grade was a less stressful period the whole year was more major depression, I stopped thinking about homicide too much but it's still there
But the 8th grade went actually fine, i wouldn't call myself a Bloomer back then, but i started to have a alot of fun, my grades were shit, but i really didn't care, but as for everything in my life, i got bad news, my mom was going to transfer to a different school, so i was gonna leave my friends and start a new life, before entering the 9th grade, i would like to coment on my biggest regret of that year, which was that i never kept in contact with my best friends, i wasn't good with distance relationships, and after awhile i was ashamed of talking to them yet i never forgot about them, now let's move on to the actual worst year of my life, the 9th grade started and i was already the outcast of the school, i was made fun of every day and i was truly at a breaking point, nothing made me happy i had one friend (N) and he still made fun me, even the teachers, one time the teacher screamed at me "are you normal?!" And the next day he talked to me and asked in way that was implying he thought I was autistic, so know i have reinforced feelings that I'm a freak, and it went like that from September to February, around that time i had a crush on my classmate (B) and she always treated me nicely, but of course this crush would become an obsession over her, which I'm surprised i never acted on it, and because of it i thought about ending it everyday,but some string of luck came around may, my bullies eventually became my friends, i started to become more liked in my class, and I've moved on from my crush on (B) kinda..i started to have more crushes, but unfortunately I was broken hearted every time, and actually the reason why is because I found out they had boyfriend's so i stopped caring, but this is where the story takes a deep shit, remember my friend (N) well since that time we became actual best friends, and i told him alot of things that were personal to me, but fast forward he wanted us to do a plan where we hacked PayPal accounts and also to bring girls to my house (i lived with my grandma around that time and we didn't live in the house yet) for what, well sex of course, i was desperately naive so i went along with it, i was a coomer around that time so you can see why I was desprate, come to find out that he was manipulating me and a bunch of other people,so me and a couple dudes went and told everyone what he said about them, which of course broke our friendship, he saw me as a tool to exploit and i let him do it because I was desprate for friends i Guess, and i didn't want to lose him, but i decided to sever my relationship with him, which felt like a stone of bricks being lifted from my back, in May, i got my first girlfriend, she was perfect, funny, cute,and everything I've wanted, of course the problem was she was a 7th grader but come to find out she was older than me by 4 months because she didn't enter School because of medical problems, i became a Bloomer, it was the best time of my life i truly felt happiness, and I Know young love is stupid but i was truly happy and we even joked about getting married, we would talk everyday, i was confident and blooming, but just like everything it was bound to be ended,we broke up in 23 of July which was 3 mouths but it felt like 3 years, I'm not gonna get into detail, but i went insane and depressed, my only love and source of happiness was gone, it was so bad i went to a therapist a second time,and all he did was prescribe me pills which didn't do shit, i didn't sleep for 2 weeks, i was so destroyed, and it was the last time i had hope, i barely graduated middle school, and now it was time for the tenth grade i really didn't care about anything, for the first time i walked into school not questioning anything, i was so miserable i couldn't care less, but i started to realize that this class was better than my class of last year, i started to have awesome friends and i started to cheer up a bit, but of course again it backfired, i asked multiple girls out, one called me ugly,one wanted an older guy, and one hurt the most, i really liked her, both as a crush and friend, i asked her out, she said no but we can still be friends, i said fine, but she would make fun of me , so i decided to cut her off, of course she was in the same class so completely ignoring her would be impossible, after that everything went down hill my suicidal thoughts came back, i became a doomer again, and like they say "it's better to be a doomer and become a Bloomer instead of the opposite" i had no hope, i decided that the best way to minimize the pain, is to avoid things that would result in me being hurt, with that you can guess a few things, distance myself from friends and anyone in my life, and find solace in loneliness, one day they will just start to ignore me, so i have an easier time to ignore them back
Part 6 (15):
Well now it's the end, I'm a 15-year-old loser, who has no hope for the future, lazy, a failure, probably autistic, ugly, and pretty much an outcast of society, I don't think I will find love, true friendship, or a good relationship with my parents or my family, as for my mom, next month she plans to buy me a cheap 50$ mini laptop, and the next month after that a jacket, so as you can see our financial situation is taking a shit, and I think my future will be a wagecuck because my grades are shit and I don't think I deserve to have a happy ending, so this is the story about how a kid became a rage wojak at 10, a doomer at 11-14 became a Bloomer at 14 for 3 months, and now is an even more miserable doomer than he was before.
I dont see a bright future for me, all of it is just pain and putting on the mask to feel less shitty, everyone calls me an autistic retard and maybe I am but I dont want to live in a world where I get called these things, as for you anons, just wanted to say that i enjoyed my time in this site, your funny memes and when i created my subchannels and saw people joining and commenting, i was really happy, i don't have much time, but to anwswer the question, why i chose mainchan and not like reddit because this site really means alot to me, i only joined for 2 days and it has been amazing, anyway please take care of each other anons, because in this shitty life full of absolute pieces of shit, all we have is each other to feel some type of happiness, and if this site gets populor you never know, i might get a video called "the mainchanner who posted his suicide note" haha, this is goodbye for now, maybe we will see each other in another imageboard website
so pretty much
>tfw no gf, father,true friend, or happy life
See space cowboys....
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