No concerted effort towards life, feeling wasted. Leave me behind, it's over. I am one of those 'not-normal people' I lived in fear of becoming. I have been screwed over by algorithms. I hesitate to say that it's 'over', but I spend so much time just consuming and consuming and I cannot unscrew myself. There is something fundamentally wrong with the life I live. There must be something fundamentally wrong with ME! I am delusional. I am lacking purpose. There surely must be a divine reason I was placed into the body I inhabit, born to the parents I was born to. Here, why I was born here, and why in this time. There has to be. I am not normal. There is a plan. Otherwise, it was all worthless. Great and terrible things must come pass under my hand. The world will tremble under my direction in my time. I am tested and toyed with by matters greater than me, for now. Surely there is somebody with a vested interest in my death, besides myself. To be known for your death is the ultimate cuckoldry. Take George Floyd, Renee Good, Charlie Kirk(ish), etc. You contribute so little to your world that your death causes movements. Born with the purpose of death. There are people walking among us as modern day ritual sacrifices. Lives must he snuffed out in the name of progress, or 24 hour news. In other words, we have never changed. The people thirst for blood. And they will get it. Justice does not exist, at least here on Earth. It's foolish of us to think that. Everyone has gotten away with things for so long. I am entering a bad period in my life. I decided that today. Things have been going well for too long. It needs to be bad for a little bit. I don't know what will happen in the future. I yearn for purpose. A plotline, or new character may appear, and satisfy my desire for something. But until then I live in filler. I will not kill myself. To be known at all for your suicide is cuckoldry as well. Carry on, and burn the tallow down to flesh, just to feel it. But I'll be numb for a while.
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