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BURNT.

Posted by Qiipo 5 days ago Follow

THIS STUPID EXCUSE OF A COOKER DECIDE TO WAS A GOOD IDEA TO SERVE ME A HOCKEY PUCK TRYING TO FAKE IT AS BURGER MEAT AT A FOOTBALL GAME. THANK GOD I HAVE EYES AND CAN CLEARLY SEE THAT THIS ISN'T EDIBLE FOOD. I DON'T KNOW WHY I WAS GIVEN SOME SOLIDIFIED PIECE OF TAR AS SOMETHING I'M SUPPOSED TO LIVE OFF OF, NOT TO MENTION BARELY MELTED FAKE SLICES OF COLD AMERICAN CHEESE ADDED ONTO IT. I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY THEY RIPPED THIS STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ROAD AND SLAPPED TWO PIECES OF BREAD ON THE ENDS OF IT. THIS GODDAMN PIECE OF SPACE ROCK GAVE ME TURF BURN. IF I SENT THIS PICTURE TO GORDON RAMSAY HE WOULD COMMIT ACTS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO START WWIII. WHATEVER YOU COULD EVEN CLASSIFY THIS ANOMALY MAKES THE SMELL OF SURSTRÖMMING TASTE HEAVENLY. KNOWING ALL THIS, YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO EAT THAT THING? YOU WOULD BE RIGHT. I DID EAT IT, THE WHOLE THING MATTER A FACT. THE MOMENT I PUT IT IN MY MOUTH I COULD FEEL MY TASTEBUDS DISSOLVE UPON CONTACT, LIKE I WAS DRINKING A COMBINATION BETWEEN BATTERY ACID AND DRAIN CLEANER. I FELT THE ASH FALLING OFF OF IT, SCARRING MY THROAT. I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF I HAD GOTTED PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS UPON DIGESTION. YES. DIGESTION, NOT INHALATION.

(EDIT: STUPID LITTLE GODDAMN MISCLICK AND GUESS WHAT, ALL MY PROGRESS IS GONE. I HAD TO REWRITE THIS STUPID ESSAY AGAIN BECAUSE OF IT. CICERO, UNTIL YOU MAKE A DRAFT FEATURE FOR POSTS YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK AT ALL TIMES.)

Edited 5 days ago

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[–] NecroSocial 3 points

Little known trick, when you misclick or get an error message and wind up with a page refresh and all your text gone you can often get it back just by hitting the back button in your browser. This has worked for me many times trying to make media uploads and getting errors that refreshed the page. YMMV tho depending on your browser and such.

Also hello other darker-than-white person.

Also also bonus points for anyone who can name the movie my gif is from and why it's the perfect gif for this thread.

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[–] Qiipo 2 points

Once bitten, grill catches on fire with burgers on it.

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[–] NecroSocial 2 points

🏆

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[–] ymous 4 points

mmmmm yummy yummy burnt animal remains

 

>STUPID LITTLE GODDAMN MISCLICK AND GUESS WHAT, ALL MY PROGRESS IS GONE

Real. This is why I tend to write long posts/comments in some other place first like a text editor or a note taking app before actually posting it here. Sometimes I also select and copy the text I'm writing so that I'd have a piece of it stored in clipboard in case I accidentally reload the page and it all disappears.

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[–] Qiipo 3 points

The clipboard copy and paste is exactly what I did the moment I made decent progress when i had to rewrite. SUPER useful considering the fact I DIDN'T need it at all that second time.

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