It all started somewhere in the summer of 2021. At this point in time I realised that I gotta do something about the pandemic. Something more than just being a model citizen by spending 8 hours a day on Reddit (which I already was). So I decided to travel back in time. I wasn't sure how I was gonna do that, so I searched up a tutorial online. I got this nice little webpage that told me that to achieve time travel, I must reset my PC clock and then delete system32. Obviously, I am not an idiot, therefore I realised that deleting system32 was put there for some trollin and will only fuck up my machine, so I skipped that part.
I had everything ready to go back to 2019 when I remembered that I'd need a way to come back to the present. Obviously you can't forward your PC clock to go forward in time. That's plain stupid. After some more searching, I found an article that talked about forward time travel. Apparently I needed a creature that is capable of curving time. The article also had a list of such creatures and one of them happened to be a duck. This was great because I had a duck shop right across the street.
The duck shop keeper didn't want to accept my fake bitcoin coins as payment so I had to go full gangster mode and steal the duck. Once I had the duck ready, I quickly reset my PC clock to summer 2019 and stepped out of the house. The cool 2019 summer wind was gently blowing over me as I was walking down the street thinking what should I do next. I figured that the first person I must inform about the pandemic should be the duck shop keeper. I strolled into his shop and told him about the unfortunate happenings that are gonna happen in a year. I don't think he listened to me as he kept on eyeing my duck. At the end of my speech he asked me "why did you steal my duck?". I told him that I didn't steal it yet because we were in 2019 and the theft act was gonna occur in two years from now. He told me that he just watched the cameras and saw me grabbing the duck from his cages. At this point I remembered that I did something like that back in 2019. I told the duck shop keeper that that is not the most important thing he should be focusing right now because getting a duck stolen in 2019 is nothing compared to having the whole shop closed down in 2020. The dude just stared at me like "so this is the second time you're doing this?". At this point I noticed that the dude's calendar had "2021" written on it. This was solid evidence. The duck shop keeper was an insane person who thought that they were living in the future.
I was getting bored so I decided to quit. I let the duck go and followed it just as was described in the article. If you take a duck from the future into the past, it would always find a way back. As soon as I heard an ambulance rushing past me, I knew I was back in my time. Then, suddenly, I felt the presence of the duck shop keeper. He was walking behind me the whole time! I literally just took this man from the past back into the future.
Not only did I completely fail my mission, but I also left a duck shop unattended for two years.
Got any pics to prove it?
No, but a lot of memories. You'll have to trust my words.
Would you mind sharing some of them?
Sure.
It all started somewhere in the summer of 2021. At this point in time I realised that I gotta do something about the pandemic. Something more than just being a model citizen by spending 8 hours a day on Reddit (which I already was). So I decided to travel back in time. I wasn't sure how I was gonna do that, so I searched up a tutorial online. I got this nice little webpage that told me that to achieve time travel, I must reset my PC clock and then delete system32. Obviously, I am not an idiot, therefore I realised that deleting system32 was put there for some trollin and will only fuck up my machine, so I skipped that part.
I had everything ready to go back to 2019 when I remembered that I'd need a way to come back to the present. Obviously you can't forward your PC clock to go forward in time. That's plain stupid. After some more searching, I found an article that talked about forward time travel. Apparently I needed a creature that is capable of curving time. The article also had a list of such creatures and one of them happened to be a duck. This was great because I had a duck shop right across the street.
The duck shop keeper didn't want to accept my fake bitcoin coins as payment so I had to go full gangster mode and steal the duck. Once I had the duck ready, I quickly reset my PC clock to summer 2019 and stepped out of the house. The cool 2019 summer wind was gently blowing over me as I was walking down the street thinking what should I do next. I figured that the first person I must inform about the pandemic should be the duck shop keeper. I strolled into his shop and told him about the unfortunate happenings that are gonna happen in a year. I don't think he listened to me as he kept on eyeing my duck. At the end of my speech he asked me "why did you steal my duck?". I told him that I didn't steal it yet because we were in 2019 and the theft act was gonna occur in two years from now. He told me that he just watched the cameras and saw me grabbing the duck from his cages. At this point I remembered that I did something like that back in 2019. I told the duck shop keeper that that is not the most important thing he should be focusing right now because getting a duck stolen in 2019 is nothing compared to having the whole shop closed down in 2020. The dude just stared at me like "so this is the second time you're doing this?". At this point I noticed that the dude's calendar had "2021" written on it. This was solid evidence. The duck shop keeper was an insane person who thought that they were living in the future.
I was getting bored so I decided to quit. I let the duck go and followed it just as was described in the article. If you take a duck from the future into the past, it would always find a way back. As soon as I heard an ambulance rushing past me, I knew I was back in my time. Then, suddenly, I felt the presence of the duck shop keeper. He was walking behind me the whole time! I literally just took this man from the past back into the future.
Not only did I completely fail my mission, but I also left a duck shop unattended for two years.
Nicely written.