So I almost died

Woke up feeling weak. Could only walk a few steps before needing to stop and catch my breath. I chalked it up to fatigue from my diabetes which happens every now and again. So I called out of work and and recuperated for the day. Next day I wake up, same deal, weak, short of breath. Still I make my way to the bathroom for the morning ritual. By the time I get there I can barely breath, I've broken out in a cold sweat and I'm feeling dizzy. I collapse onto the toilet, lurch forward and just barely stop myself passing out.

Takes me an hour to recover enough to drag myself out of the bathroom and into a chair in the living room where I'm then unable to move again for another 3 hours as I just barely breath enough to not pass out. My phone is out of reach, I'm alone and thinking I just might die in that chair. I somehow force myself to the couch where my phone is. 911 is dialed along with my superintendent who will need to open my door for the EMTs because I'm completely immobile now.

At the emergency room they stabilize me with some drugs and oxygen, still no idea what's wrong with me but I can breath. My vitals improve, they admit me and do some imagining on my chest the next morning. Without telling me what they found I'm suddenly moved from a regular room to the intensive care ward. Not the best sign. Still I'm in good spirits thinking the worst of whatever's wrong is behind me.

The docs then tell me I suffered a Pulmonary Embolism, a huge one in an important valve. They plan to start me on drugs to begin dissolving it in a few hours and leave me to rest. So I rest and after a few I need to pee so I tilt my bed up and get set to use my bed urinal cup thingy. At this point my heart starts beating all weird. I have just enough time to think "Hmm, that doesn't seem right" and press the nurse button before 98% of the airflow in my body shuts off, I splay out in the bed instantly drenched in flop sweat, gasping. The nurse arrives, I wheeze the words "can't breath, hot" and within a minute or two my room is filled with nurses and doctors all acting the way nurses and doctors act on hospital tv shows when they're working on someone who's dying.

Every cell in my body is screaming for oxygen, my heart is alternating between pounding and not beating, I'm not in pain I'm in an absence of life energy. I pass out and when I come-to, there are doctors standing over me arguing, I hear the words "he's fading fast", one nurse is stuffing ice packs all around my body, I have 4 IVs in my arms and another nurse is just stroking my head saying "you're going to be alright, you're going to get through this". "Feel... dying" is all I can say before I black out again." I come to again and I hear "He's coming up" and notice I now have a tube down my throat. I also notice that I'm breathing and oh yeah I've pissed myself.

Turned out the clot in my heart valve moved and that cut off my airflow and caused my heart to work so hard it's now permanently damaged on one side. 6 days later and I'm out of the hospital and will be taking blood thinners for the rest of my no doubt significantly shortened life. Insult to injury I also had to quit my awesome job at a cannabis dispensary because I'm physically unable to do it since I now have the stamina of a 110 year old for at least the next few months while this embolism/clot (which I still have) dissolves.

Ah good times, good times.

Note: I live in a van but was (very luckily) staying at my mother's place for the Christmas season. If this had happened in my rig I wouldn't have had an address to call the ambulance to since I almost never make note of what street I'm parked on or any nearby landmarks when I park for the night. I'll definitely be doing that from now on tho.