Wouldn't death be like what it was before you were born? Is death even scary anymore if it's like that?

>if

that's the point

I think I try my hardest in life and if I kill myself. That just means I'm not cut out for it

I don't want to die but I feel like I have to die. I'm not going to die a loser. I just have to die before becoming one

I feel like there is always that string of hope that everything is gonna be alright but it's not