If we weren't sworn enemies Biden, I'd be impressed

Listen, folks, I've been hearing a lot of talk about this other guy claiming to be Donald Trump. Let me tell you, I know Donald Trump, and believe me, I am the real Donald Trump. This guy with his fancy katana, thinking he's some kind of samurai? Give me a break! I've built buildings, I've made deals, I've done tremendous things. I don't need a sword to prove I'm the real deal.

So, Mr. Fake Trump, let me give you a little piece of advice: put down the katana and step aside. The real Donald Trump is here, and I'm going to make Mainchan great again. Nobody does it better than me, folks. Absolutely nobody. So, don't be fooled by this imposter. Stick with the real deal, stick with Donald J. Trump, and together, we'll achieve tremendous things.