Went to go stay with my cousin in south brooklyn for a week. Most of his friends (20s/30s mostly) were just normal guys, had a history of some casual hookups and dating, lot of them had normal stable jobs. Not too rich or poor. Most weren't super good looking, yet still were pretty normal and had normal romance and social lives. Went out maybe once a week, hung out with friends often. They had varied music and movie tastes. They played video games, but weren't addicted. I had such an amazing time just... chilling with them. I kept thinking how rare this was for me, and yet for them it was their lives, every day.
It just fucking broke me. I've been told time and time again that only the top 10% of guys actually have dating and social lives. I fucking stay at home all day, doing jack shit. I never had any real friends. I always thought everybody was just some kind of normie bitch loser who I could never relate to. Fuck fuck fuck I feel like I have thrown my entire fucking life away based on this conception of the world that has just been totally shattered from ONE FUCKING WEEKEND TRIP.
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I know this is easier said than done but why don't you move to Brooklyn and start gradually hanging out with them? Sounds like you already got an in with them through your cousin.
Also, that lifestyle of hanging out every single day can get old just as fast as sitting around doing nothing. I was one of those people from like age 6 to like age 30. I'm 34 now and I'm keeping most of my friends at arms length because half of them still party like they're 21, and the other half are boring af sober or married.
Dating is also easier than you think if you put in time on a dating app. My girlfriend is pretty much the director of social life and events for both of us, because I don't really give a shit and I would just play EU4 or Train Simulator and lift all day otherwise. Always some dumbass event we have to go to. Tomorrow have to go to a cat cafe that just opened up in my city.
Relatable, pretty much do zero of my own planning, but I'm ok with it because I've just accepted that I am incapable of developing a social life on my own.
I got hundreds of acquaintances and people if I saw at a bar or somewhere I'd catch up with them and shoot the shit, but realistically I got like 6 good friends maybe 4 that I can really trust.