I rarely feel cold (California). I tend to feel lonely at night, although I feel that lonely is not an accurate representation of myself.
I bring the lonely aspect upon myself. I'm quite addicted to scrolling. Even now I just switched to mainchan to find some respite from Instagram, which long ago had exhausted anything interesting to me. It's very easy for me to make friends or small talk, I'm quite extroverted. However I struggle with romantic connections. I have dated two girls, both after my 19th birthday. Each relationship lasted less than two months, and I intentionally ended it before it could become sexual. I am a virgin still at 20. This choice was not made by an adherence to religion, scripture has little bearing on my life (Note I did not say God has little bearing). I feel a heavy honeymoon period before a sudden steep and tremendous drop occurs in which I realize I am wasting valuable time and resources seeing someone whom I know will not be the one. Thus, I cut her loose.
Today was a Sunday, my one day off. I staying inside my hotel room all day, eyes peeled away from everything except my phone. There was nothing on it for me aside from garbage. I have not been happy online since I was 17. Or even younger. On occasion I get a strange thought in my mind: "people like me deserve to be killed, rounded up like cattle and slaughtered". Where this comes from I don't know. Perhaps a sense of guilt or deep shame? I visualize my ancestors in heaven viewing me in bed, furiously masturbating to images and ideas horrific, bizarre and unknown to them in their time. What is wrong with him to not seek organically romantic or sexual gratification from others as we have always done? Does he not know?
I do know. But I am a slave.
God, if you're listening, please, kill the whipping screen.
Well. If you have nothing to lose you have everything gain. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places for that 'salvation'. For one, the internet will never give you what you want. The real world is equally unlikely to result in anything satisfying however the journey will be fulfilling. The main takeaway is this: you have to make that choice and make that change yourself, nobody will do it for you. But if you want somebody to make one for you, try joining the military. Structure may be what you need.
>The best thing you can do is write cryptic posts on a dead forum hoping that maybe someone reads it and then you don't have to be completely alone going through this.
To be honest does it matter not having a job if you're fulfilled with your life? Being unemployed doesn't make you a loser, you can be a loser and be employed. Spend your time constructively. Gain skills, don't just consoom.
I'd rather not be locked in to marrying someone when my brain hasn't finished developing yet. I dont think I should decide somebody is 'the one' or make any choices adjacent to that for a while
Hmmm. I have thought about this before. I run into the same issues every time this is brought up which everyone does: it represents giving up or some loss of dignity. But I dont have anything really right now to lose in the first place, aside from throwing in the towel. It is a deeply frustrating conundrum for the modern man to live through and I surely wont be the last. I feel alone and I worry that will just be a short term salve that will leave me feeling for unfulfilled. Sex is temporary. Its worse if you pay for it. I suppose I dont mean virginity in the literal sense but more that I want to know for certain that there isn't something fundamentally wrong with me, that I can attract somebody. This is something I have brought entirely upon myself however. I can do something about it. But until I decide to do that i will continue to cry out into the ether from time to time.
All I have left is his mercy
I rarely feel cold (California). I tend to feel lonely at night, although I feel that lonely is not an accurate representation of myself.
I bring the lonely aspect upon myself. I'm quite addicted to scrolling. Even now I just switched to mainchan to find some respite from Instagram, which long ago had exhausted anything interesting to me. It's very easy for me to make friends or small talk, I'm quite extroverted. However I struggle with romantic connections. I have dated two girls, both after my 19th birthday. Each relationship lasted less than two months, and I intentionally ended it before it could become sexual. I am a virgin still at 20. This choice was not made by an adherence to religion, scripture has little bearing on my life (Note I did not say God has little bearing). I feel a heavy honeymoon period before a sudden steep and tremendous drop occurs in which I realize I am wasting valuable time and resources seeing someone whom I know will not be the one. Thus, I cut her loose.
Today was a Sunday, my one day off. I staying inside my hotel room all day, eyes peeled away from everything except my phone. There was nothing on it for me aside from garbage. I have not been happy online since I was 17. Or even younger. On occasion I get a strange thought in my mind: "people like me deserve to be killed, rounded up like cattle and slaughtered". Where this comes from I don't know. Perhaps a sense of guilt or deep shame? I visualize my ancestors in heaven viewing me in bed, furiously masturbating to images and ideas horrific, bizarre and unknown to them in their time. What is wrong with him to not seek organically romantic or sexual gratification from others as we have always done? Does he not know?
I do know. But I am a slave.
God, if you're listening, please, kill the whipping screen.
I dont want to be a chud it would be a waste of the decent genes I have
I actually agree with this sentiment heavily
Everyone in their 20s is insufferable compared to them in their golden years. They haven't been humbled yet
Yearning will never, ever, ever end, it makes us human
Well. If you have nothing to lose you have everything gain. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places for that 'salvation'. For one, the internet will never give you what you want. The real world is equally unlikely to result in anything satisfying however the journey will be fulfilling. The main takeaway is this: you have to make that choice and make that change yourself, nobody will do it for you. But if you want somebody to make one for you, try joining the military. Structure may be what you need.
>The best thing you can do is write cryptic posts on a dead forum hoping that maybe someone reads it and then you don't have to be completely alone going through this.
Bingo.
To be honest does it matter not having a job if you're fulfilled with your life? Being unemployed doesn't make you a loser, you can be a loser and be employed. Spend your time constructively. Gain skills, don't just consoom.
i broke up with my girlfriend instead lmfao
But how can this be leveraged?
I'd rather not be locked in to marrying someone when my brain hasn't finished developing yet. I dont think I should decide somebody is 'the one' or make any choices adjacent to that for a while
Holy shit mainchan I rescued it from the BRINK you have no idea
Mainchan is so spooky for halloween...
It's like a spooky abandoned house... oh wait... it's always like this...
Cicero.
Somebody once commented on my post a while back about a method to drum up user interactions.
They said, why don't you just send an email to all of the emails registered to all existing mainchan accounts?
Perhaps a ping could prompt potential population percolation.
There's like 2000 registered user on this site but only 20 of us stick around.
Maybe give it a try.
He likes it
Hmmm. I have thought about this before. I run into the same issues every time this is brought up which everyone does: it represents giving up or some loss of dignity. But I dont have anything really right now to lose in the first place, aside from throwing in the towel. It is a deeply frustrating conundrum for the modern man to live through and I surely wont be the last. I feel alone and I worry that will just be a short term salve that will leave me feeling for unfulfilled. Sex is temporary. Its worse if you pay for it. I suppose I dont mean virginity in the literal sense but more that I want to know for certain that there isn't something fundamentally wrong with me, that I can attract somebody. This is something I have brought entirely upon myself however. I can do something about it. But until I decide to do that i will continue to cry out into the ether from time to time.
1
Wanted it that way, wasnt good
Rational
HOORAY!!!
Yoda
Call of diddy
Elvis Presley, the King
I do but I miss my real friends from home
God fucking damn it GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE IM JUST SO UNFULFILLED AND LONELY
I highly doubt there are any bots here. This site isn't worth it yet